PC-holic

I have just realized that I am a PC-holic. The problem with being a PC-holic is that we don't have a 12 step program, AA won't welcome us with open arms, and we can't be admitted to a rehab. My name is Dee and I am a PC-holic. Well, it did feel good to say that and maybe that is my first step towards recovery.

I will be out of town for 2 weeks and when this trip was planned I had all intentions on taking my PC with me. Unfortunately that will not be possible and I am faced with being unplugged. The internet connects me to the world, friends, and family. Being away from the internet is kinda like being homesick at summer camp. Besides this ever popular blog, I have other internet hobbies that I will sorely miss. NO, I don't surf the porn sites. Unfortunately with every good thing technology brings it also brings in a lot of bad. Porn is one of them. Anyway, I have a photo site, e-mails, gaming....and that's a lot. What did the pioneers do without Google? How did our fore fathers exist without Ask Jeeves? It is enough to boggle the mind.

I will probably have the jimmies the first couple of days, but soon I will find other things to do with my time (Help!). Maybe I will write some letters, read a good book or maybe I will veg in front of the TV and pretend its a big monitor.

Oh quiz.....how can I resist you?

I am Benjamin Moore "Royal Evening Baja Avocado" gloss interior acrylic latex Exactly the right shade for that upstairs hallway in a home with a bold yet exquisite sense of style.

Which house paint are you?

Expert, Shmexpert

l Smee
This!

The word 'Expert' is tossed around a lot. So much that the new workplace term is 'Subject Matter Experts' a.k.a Smee. Are you a Smee in anything? Well, I must say that I am. Now don't feel jealous, but I am a self proclaimed Smee. You are probably wondering what subject, pray tell, I am an expert in? Well, any subject I feel like it.

Let me explain. Remember the phrase 'Fake it till you make it'? Being a self proclaimed Smee is almost the same thing. The difference is that a Smee must be a little more ballsy. You have to have 100% confidence in the BS that is coming out of your mouth. So much confidence that someone actually doubts themselves even when faced with a glaring contradiction you have made. You can't have a hint of doubt or self recrimination or a questioning tone. The key is to state your opinion as if it is fact...as if you could back it up with statistics, figures, hard and fast data.

I once heard a Smee talk for twenty minutes about chocolate. Did you know that chocolate helped you lose weight and if smeared under the arm pits worked as an excellent deodorant. Fascinating!

You may end up annoying your peers, irritating your boss, and pissing off your subordinates, but instead of being called an annoying ass, you will be an annoying know it all ass. Isn't the latter better?Try being a Smee tomorrow at work and it will really pay off. What? You are a clerk in a law firm? So, all you have to do is throw in some words like 'Magna Carta' and 'Jones vrs the State of Utah' and you are on your way to showing those attorneys a thing or too and becoming a self proclaimed Smee....good luck!

Skirt Hiders and other shameful acts

Have you ever heard the term of a Skirt Hider? Think of a woman wearing a long full skirt and someone clinging onto that skirt and hiding in its folds. I know, the term is not used a lot, but it fits. A Skirt Hider is someone who hides behind another person to avoid blame, accusations, or discovery. While they hide they are also stealing ideas, thoughts, and opinions from anyone they can. Basically, they are the annoying barnacle on the proverbial boat of life. This species of human is primarily seen in its natural environment, the office. They suck up your ideas, creativity, experiences, opinions, and thoughts and spew them out as their own. These are the people you avoid sitting next to in meetings, presentations, or working one on one with. Skirt Hiders don't take huge ideas, because they would have to back those ideas up with actual research and work. No, they steal everyday ideas and opinions. The kind that make you shine just a little in a staff meeting, or gets positive attention in a presentation. Just enough to get noticed, but not enough to have to do any real work. They are really trying to steal the words from your mouth before anyone else can hear them. Skirt Hiders will never be responsible for what goes wrong, but always take the credit when things go right. Unfortunately, good office etiquette and professional courtesy are the Skirt Hiders shield. Most people won't call them out because it comes down to a He Said/She Said situation. How can you prove they stole your thought or opinion and is that technically a crime? Can you imagine yelling out "She stole my thoughts!!" in a staff meeting. How about going up to your boss and letting them know that the good for nothing Skirt Hider had asked your opinion with the intent of pawning it off as their own. The victim looks like a flake and the Skirt Hider keeps shining on.

The best defense with a Skirt Hider is to act dumb in their presence...do not say anything intelligent...and always answer their questions with a question. Example:
Skirt Hider: "What are your ideas for the new project?"
You: "Haven't really thought about it yet".
Skirt Hider: " Well, do you think we should go with the first proposal?"
You: "Hmmm, I need more time on that. What do you think?".
This is where your passive aggressive nature can really work in your favor. It's a hell of a lot of work, but the Skirt Hider will be unable to gleam anything worthwhile from you and will move on to their next victim. We must admit that Skirt Hiders have their place in the office environment, just like glory hounds, brown nosers, and stooges. Really, what would an office be like without any of those?